Memoirs for my daughter, part 5

July 24

It's noon and you are sleeping and Daddy's out for groceries. Daddy has to buy more sushi and caviar, you've been eating them every day since the beginning of your treatment.

Last night for the first time, you asked me to get out of bed and you wanted Daddy, so you slept with Daddy. For a couple of hours. At 2am you woke up and asked for me, so I came to you, then at your request, we moved to Daddys' bed. Then you and Daddy moved back to your bed, then you asked for mommy, and we slept in your room, all three of us. You were very restless all night.

July 25:

God give me patience! I prayed for the last two nights as we've been moving from your bed to Daddy's bed, to the couch and back yo your bed! And then again...

But it will all get better soon and then maybe tonight will be better.

We went to see the Thunderbirds game today, and we had a nice time, you ate a few bites of sausage and two fries! And we were happy with that! During the steroids treatment, you would eat a large portion of fries from McDonald's, a jar of caviar, a tray of sushi and countless sausages throughout the day, plus much more, and now we're happy if you eat a hot-dog or a quarter of a potatoe!

July 26:

Last night was much better! You still woke up, but it was nowhere near as bad as the two nights before.

We went to the store today!!! The first time in 6 weeks! What an accomplishment it seems! What a great thing to do!Things that we used to do every day, now seem like such a big deal! Oh, how life changes from one day to the next! But if God would take me back to the day you were born and give me the choice between the magnificent, wonderful YOU, who will get diagnosed with Leukemia, at age 2 or another baby who will never get as much as a cold, I would still chose you, a million times, no questions asked! You are so wonderful, so perfect, so smart and we love you more than anything in this world! And not only because you are ours, but for everything you are!

As I write this, we are sitting outside on the grass, in the back yard, you are sitting beside me, playing with crayons (you are not interested in coloring, but in taking the paper off of them :) ) and Daddy is cleaning the garden, taking the weeds out, as we are waiting for Madrina and Padrino.

This morning I had to call Madrina to give you a hug over the phone to take your medicine and eat! So far, we've called Madrina, Granny or Diana to hug you over the phone, so you take your medicine and eat! :)

July 27, 2010:

Last night was... tough, to say the least! You not sleeping, we got used to, but now you are crying during the night, too. You wake up and cry. That is so new and unususal for us, we don't quite know what to do to make you happy and to help you calm down and go back to sleep! But whatever I do, is just not good enough. You cry and scream and kick and pull my hair, and then we move from one bed to another or the couch, either with me or Daddy, whomever you want at the moment. Oh, we all need sleep. You need rest, to stay strong and get better, we need sleep to stay strong enough to take care of you! But with a lot of love and patience, we will get through this. We are a strong family, we have a lot of love for each other, we will all pull through this. The times mommy breaks down, Daddy's strong and puts me together; the times Daddy can't keep it together anymore, I am strong for him. And we both get strenght from you and from the love we have for you. We can not and we will not give up. We have to be strong for you, our sweet litlle baby! You are our life, right now you are our number one priority.