Sunday, November 04, 2012

Punta Cana vacation

We just spent 2 weeks in Punta Cana, Dominican republic. Your biggest wish was to swim with the dolphins, so that's what we did: swam with Dolphins, swam with Nurse Sharks and touched the Sting Rays.

Saturday, October 06, 2012


Tea Party was awesome! You had friends to play with, and it was a nice 'end-of-treatment' celebration. My idea was to make a tea-cup cake, but you wanted a frog cake, so I made both! 
The dress you picked was the dress Diana brought for you. While she was here, Diana bought 2 charms for the necklace: a pearl and a penguin with a diamond. Your picks, of course. Daddy and Mommy bought you a ring, as per your request and Madrina and Padrino bought a charm, two baby feet, 'for all the steps you took'. Belle was here for a bit, Sharon was here, Laura, Tim, Lauren and Rachel and their Grandma Helen. The one missing all this is Granny. But form up in Heaven, I'm sure she saw your Tea-Party and how beautiful you are, I'm sure she saw you starting school and she's as proud of you as we are. 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Junior Kindergarten

We started school! September 6 was the day you proved your independence! We went to school, Daddy and I came in to help you find your locker, you gave us a hug and kiss and off you went without giving us a second look! Made is so much easier for us to see how excited you are, and happy and willing to go have some fun with "your kids". That's what you call them: "My kids!" :)  I knew you wanted to go to school, you've said it all summer long, but I was still nervous, I thought maybe when we get there and we leave, you'll change your mind, but no way! There's 18 kids in your class. Such a difference from what you're used to. But I guess is a very nice experience for you, having all these kids around you. 

You said you want to learn about dinosaurs, Earth, and human body, because you want to be a Doctor when you grow up. We are very proud of you, you can write not only your name, but almost all the letters (except N, M and Z). It's been now 2 weeks, you are still excited and happy to go to school. And, of course, as it was expected, you got a cold! Even with all the precautions we took, even with all the hand washing, table disinfecting, you still got a virus. Which, being the generous girl that you are, felt like you had to share it with Mommy :)
We love you and we are very, very proud of you! Your teacher told me you are an 'extraordinary child' :) and that we should be very proud of you, which we absolutely are!

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Victoria the Victorious!

Ahhhhhhh! Treatment is DONE! :) But not without a last adventure!

Firstly, on Tuesday, June 5th, 2012, after Granny's funeral service, where you fell in absolute love with your cousin Shelby :), we went to the restaurant with the rest of the family. About 3 pm when we got home, I took your leggings off and your legs were covered in small red bumps! I gave the leggings to Daddy and told him you got allergic to them, so he threw them in the garbage. About 7pm while having dinner, I saw a few more of those bumps on your arms, so Daddy and I thought it was chicken pox! I called Dr. on call, it was Dr. P. and she said to just go to clinic in the morning, but if they multiply or if you get a fever to call her again. At about 10:30, with the light from my cell phone, I checked you and there were a lot more on your arms and now on the face, too. So I called Dr. P. again and she said to bring you to ER. We got to ER before midnight and they were waiting for us. Dr. P. had called them. Stephen, one of the ER nurses came to meet me at the door, I checked you in while you were waiting in the car with Daddy. I came to get you, Stephen put a mask on you and got us straight into a room. After a long wait, a medical student came to see you, poor girl, had no idea what she was doing, so she called a resident. Between the 2 'medical prodigys' they determined that you indeed had chicken pox. They sent us home with a prescription for antivirals. But, miracle of miracles of chicken pox! By morning more then half of the rash was gone! Daddy couldn't fill in the prescription, because the "Dr." wrote the wrong concentration... what a surprise! And by the time we went to clinic on Thursday, they were all gone! So, of course they misdiagnosed you. But Daddy deciphered the mystery; at the restaurant, I had a Caesar salad (bad Mommy!) and when I cut your fish, I used my fork with probably some residues of salad dressing with anchovies paste on it, which caused an allergic reaction! Oh, well, allergy... chicken pox... to a medical student and an ER Resident is all the same!

A few weeks ago, as you were neutropenic, I woke up at about 1am and you were burning! Of course, because of neutropaenia, we had to go to ER. You had a lot of low fevers during this 2 years, but this time it was quite high and neuts were 0.4, so that meant that we had to be checked in the ward. We stayed in the ward for two days, we still don't know what caused the fever, and after a period of 36 hours fever-free, the Dr. allowed us to come home.

On July 11th, we had scheduled an MRI, LP and Bone Morrow Biopsy, all in the same sedation. So, we went to the clinic as soon as you woke up and got you accessed and got some D5 to avoid an hypoglycaemic episode. Everything was fine, appointment was at 12, but you got in at 1pm! Daddy and I were waiting outside to be called in and Cheryl (nurse) came outside, on her way home to tell us that everything was fine. I asked her to please let us go in, we had to make sure we were there when you woke up and she took Daddy and I in the recovery room. I guess sometimes a bit of pushing is ok... You were out of MRI for about half an hour and still didn't wake up. So, we did a glucose level check, which was a bit on the low side, but still safe, it was 4.3. Cheryl left and I checked your vital signs and started to panic; your Blood pressure was 70/33 and heart rate was 60! I told the nurse to call the anesthetist immediately, and she was standing there telling me that she's not panicking yet... I told her to stop talking to me and start calling the Dr. She found another Dr in the recovery room at the OR (not even the same one who sedated you and left!) and this Dr. (Dr. Bruce) told her that we should bring you to OR, so she can observe you. In the mean time I was trying really hard to wake you up! By God! I have never been so scared in my whole life! My child, the reason of my life, my love wasn't waking up! I was so scared you were going to go into shock and here is this nurse, telling me she's not panicking!!! I managed to wake you up for a second, I asked if you could say "Hi" to me. You tried, but no words were coming out! I kept trying so hard to keep you awake, but your eyes kept closing! By the time we got to OR, the nurse gave you a bolus, at Dr.'s orders and we managed to half wake you, your blood pressure was coming up nicely, the heart rate increased, the glucose level was up at 5.7! The nurse asked Daddy to wait outside and then is when you started talking. You called Daddy, loud and clear! I let Daddy walk out and then I asked Dr. Bruce to please allow Daddy back into the room, because you need both your parents by your side. She asked me to allow the nurses 5 minutes and then they will call Daddy back inside. Dr. Bruce said that now it was safe to let you sleep if you want to, but I was so afraid, so I kept waking you up. Dr. offered a pop-sickle when you are awake enough, but I asked her if you could have some home-made chicken soup, since this is what you always have after a sedation. She said that if you want it, you can have anything! So I asked you if you want to wake up and eat. You woke up right away, ate a thermos full of soup, we got moved to the Same Day Surgery, because we could not be discharged from OR. In SDS, they didn't know how to de-access so we got wheeled to the ward, where Michael de-accessed you on the hallway so we can come home. What a day! What a 2 years!!! But now it's all over, we can start learning how to live our lives normally. 

Two days after all that craziness, Diana came to Canada for 2 weeks, so she's here for the last treatment. She got here on Friday, July 13 and we had 2 FUN weeks. We went to Wonderland, where you wanted to go with Diana on all the rides. Diana went with Daddy on two big rides, as well, but it was all about you, as usual :). After that, we went to Marineland and another day to Toronto Zoo. Then, to celebrate the end of treatment, on July 26, 2012, we went to Niagara Falls and we saw Happy Feet and Sponge Bob on 4D. A couple nights before that, you told me that you wished we could go into the TV to see the Dinosaurs. When I said that is impossible, you said that then you wish they could come out of the TV and that's when I thought about the 3D theaters. Unfortunately, they didn't have any more dinosaurs 3D movies, but you enjoyed the Happy Feet and Sponge Bob. 

To be continued... with pictures! :)

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Letter to my Mother-in-law.

That's been a lot happening lately, but about that another day. Now I just want to post a 'letter to Granny". Just if in time I will forget to tell you how important your Granny was to me, here's a little something to always remember; this is the Eulogy I wrote for Granny's funeral service:

You all know what Jean meant to each and everyone of you. So, I will not talk about who Jean was to the world. I will only say a few words about what she meant to me, the role she had in my life for the past 9 years. I could talk about how wonderful she was for days, but you would probably all get hungry, tired and grumpy, so I will try and keep it short.  I lost my own Mother 11 years ago and I, of course, was heartbroken. I wandered in the big, mean world feeling like an orphan for a while, and then I met Jean. She became my second Mother.
She was always there for me if I needed an opinion, an advice or, simply to complain about Graham. There have been times when he’d upset me and I called Mum to tell on him. Now this should tell anyone what an amazing woman she really was; she would listen and advise, but she never judged, she never told me off, even though I was bad-mouthing the son she adored. She was not only my second Mother, but over the years she became my confessor and firstly, my best friend.
I am sure that in all this years I must have said some things that upset her, but she never told me about them. She has never ever said a bad nor mean word to me. She had never felt like a Mother-in-law to me, but only like a Mother. She taught me that it’s not blood ties that make a family, but the love.
She was one of the kindest people I have ever met. Warm, wonderful and with a great sense of humour. One of the very few people who got my jokes. Just ask Graham, he never gets them! The first time I met her, she looked at me and said: “Oh, you are shorter than me!”
I was so scared to meet Graham’s parents! And after half an hour I was not only scared, but embarrassed, too! I couldn’t understand a word they were saying and they couldn’t understand a word I was saying! So Graham was acting as a “their English” to “my English" translator. But over the years I got used to Mum’s accent and she got used to my accent and we talked every day.
She was my best advisor, my go-to person for comfort, the person who would always listen to me when I was upset, sad or simply frustrated, about all things going not-quite easy with Victoria’s treatment. I’m going to miss her wonderful Scottish accent, her loving way, her comforting, I’m going to miss her!
She was also, a wonderful Granny to Victoria. They loved each other dearly and I know Victoria is going to miss her a lot. She was the only Grand-parent Victoria ever knew. I feel sad to know that my child will grow up not knowing the love of a Grandparent. I was one of the lucky people in the world to have 4 marvellous grandparents until late in life, so I know the importance they have in children’s life. Granny used to say “I love you, Darling!” to Victoria in her beautiful Scottish accent and that always put a smile on Victoria’s face. I also know that Granny will tell Grandpa all about Victoria and Chelsea and Alex and together they will watch over the girls.
        Ever since Dad died, there hasn’t been a day go by without Mum missing him. And she left us in time to join Dad up in heaven for their 50th wedding anniversary. I am sure Dad has been waiting for his beautiful bride to join him.
        I am sad she is not here with us anymore, but I am happy and honoured to have had the privilege to meet her!
We will miss you, Granny and we will always carry you and your love in our hearts.
With love and respect, Nadia.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Happy Birthday, Princess!

Happy Birthday, Love of my life! I can't believe you're 4!!! 4 years ago, our life became complete, we got our Princess, you are perfect, better than I ever dared to dream! And you are still 'our baby'.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Dermatology et al.

Part three, continuation from a month ago would be this: Andrea didn't call, but then I called her just before 4pm. I am trying to remember what was said, but I can't remember exactly. More or less, she told me that the requisitions were never sent and we'll have to wait again. She will definitely make sure that this time the requisition will be sent. I told her how very disappointed I am, how much I lost all my trust, not because the requisitions have not been sent, but because of the lying. I asked her what is the sense of all this lying, when finding the truth was as easy as a phone call. She told me time and time again that she has never lied to us and I actually tend to believe her. I really like Andrea, I always felt like she was on our side, so I will choose to believe her.
The following Thursday,  April 5, we went to the clinic and I asked to talk to Dr. B. I asked her if she knows all about the requisitions and she told me that herself and Andrea had a long talk about that. I asked her to tell me what exactly happened. She admitted that the first requisition was lost, she had no idea as to what happened to it, but the second requisition "was sent, but the Dermatology didn't receive it." After a few more minutes of talking she said that she called on a Monday and there was nobody at the Dermatology, so she couldn't sent the requisition and then because she didn't want us to wait any longer she faxed the requisition to a Dr. in Burlington. I didn't tell her that she just told me she sent the requisition but dermatology didn't receive it, but I did tell her that it's very interesting how they couldn't fine anyone in Dermatology on a Monday, because I called on a Monday and they answered on a first ring! And so did booking! Anyway, I walked out after talking to her feeling disgusted by all the lies. And I told her I don't trust them and she had the nerve to tell me that she feels offended by my lack of trust! I told her, very frankly that I would rather sit where she's sitting and feel offended, then sitting where I am and feel everything I feel.
That afternoon the lady in Bookings called the house to let us know that you have an appointment in two weeks with the dermatologist! Finally!!! After 11 weeks of waiting! She told me the Tuesday before that Andrea had faxed the requisition after she talked to me, at 4pm on Monday. 
On April 19 we went to clinic and we could've come home as soon as we got the results. Neuts (immune system) were 0! This means for a week we can't go anywhere where there is a crowd, we can have no visits and we have to be very careful. They also told us that following week, which is week 3 of cycle there will be no treatment, but we still go for counts. We still had to wait until 2pm when we had the appointment with the dermatologist. And because of the 0 neuts, we couldn't go anywhere, we just had to wait in clinic. This gave us a chance to talk to Nancy, the child life specialist about some other concerns. We think that there might be some emotional issues going on, because lately you wake up during the night and ask me to hug you; even in the house you want to hold my hand to walk from the living room to the  kitchen, you want to play with me all the time, and basically, are stuck to me 24 hours a day! I told Nancy that my guesses would be that either you start understanding more of what is going on, or are just sick and tired of it all and I can't blame you for feeling that; or it might be some separation anxiety, as we started talking more about you going to school in September and you are excited, but could, in the same time, feel anxious, too. Or you could simply picking on my feelings, as I have felt so stressed, so frustrated, so angry lately and maybe you just want to be by my side all the time just to make sure I am fine. Nancy took a couple of hours of playing with you; she made small pieces of paper and you put them in piles; for ex., it was the paper with clinic and that went in the "Sad" pile instantly; or the Mommy, Daddy, Andrea and home papers went in the "Happy" pile.  Nancy said she will make me a list with what was on each pile.
We went to see the dermatologist and as soon as he saw your feet he said immediately it was a fungal infection! Fungal infection that takes about 45 days to heal and would've been all gone by now if everybody would've done their jobs. I don't ask the impossible of them, I only wish they would treat you the same way they would want me to treat their child, if things would be the other way around. You are absolutely the most bravest little girl in the world! The Dr. took a scalpel and scraped your heel and you sat on the chair on your own and never moved! He sent the scrapings to the lab, but in the mean time he gave us prescriptions for hand cream and feet cream. He said that for as long as he has been a Dr., he has never seen a patient as young as you with that sort of infection; apparently, only old people get this fungus... So far you had the bone lesions that only teenagers get and a fungal infection that old people get. 
On Sunday Madrina and Padrino came for dinner, as per your request. You said we should invite them, because Padrino likes roast beef, so we did. You had a lot of fun playing with Padrino, you probably missed him a lot, it's been weeks since you last saw him. At the dinner table you asked to sit beside Padrino and only talked to him. When I tried to talk to you, you told me that you only speak with Padrino, I have to talk to Madrina. And then you told Daddy to "talk to those people!", where 'those people' were Madrina and Mommy :) When they went home you screamed for about half an hour or so and I noticed your eye lid swollen. At first I thought it was because of the crying, but then I realized the right eyelid was more swollen than the left one. I was hopping it will go down by morning. 
We woke up in the morning and your eye looked the same, so I took you to the optometrist. He checked your eyes the put some pictures on and asked you what they were. You just couldn't figure out what they were, so I asked him to show you letters. You saw the letters just fine, so the conclusion was that your vision was not affected. He did say that there is an infection on your right eyelid, but he can not write a prescription, for that we have to go to our family Doctor. I called Daddy about it and he told me to call Andrea. So, I called Andrea. She said that as long as you don't have a fever and it's not swollen shut and it doesn't seem to bother you, we can just go at the clinic in the morning. But if you start getting a fever, seeing how you have no immune system, we have to go at Emerge. We got ready for our afternoon rest, when you said your eye hurts. So I called Daddy, he came home and we went to Emerge. We spent three hours in Emerge and walked out with an 'oral prescription' for eye drops. Daddy said that those eye drops are on back order, so probably no pharmacy has them! Great! I called Carmen, the Pharmacy tech at Daddy's store and she found a store that had them. Carmen is just great! Every time we had any kind of trouble in finding medicine she always found a way to get it for us! Daddy went and bought them, but actually putting it in your eye was a different story! You kept saying you didn't want them, but eventually you did let Daddy put it in your eye.
On Tuesday morning Andrea called to ask if we were going at the clinic and I told her we went to Emerge the day before. I asked her why we are skipping treatment 2 weeks in a row and she told me it was protocol! What??? I've never heard it! And we have stopped the 6MP on week 2 quite a few times before, but NEVER skipped the Methotrexate 2 weeks in a row. She said she'll look into your medical passport and we'll talk about it on Thursday.
On Thu., April 19 we went to clinic for counts, but we wanted to also talk to Andrea and to see a Dr. for a rash that kept appearing on your legs! I mostly noticed it after the bath. Andrea brought your medical passport and in there it only shows that we stopped the 6MP on week 2, once! And we skipped the Methotrexate on week 3 due to low platelets. It is possible that we stopped the 6MP before the CNS treatment, when it wasn't divided in 3 weeks cycles. It is possible, but I am not convinced. Anyway, Dr. B. came in the room, looked at your legs and of course, has no idea what the rashes were. Just as expected. No surprise there.
I told Nancy that I think the problem was actually that you were tired. But last Thursday, I talked to Dr. Jassass and I told her what the counts were and she told me to just check your glucose level at 5am and if it is over 5 to let you sleep, if it's under, to wake you up and give you corn starch. So far, I only had to wake you up one morning at 5am for corn starch. We actually had a morning when it went up, without the corn starch, from 4.7 to 5.2! Or from 4.6 to 4.9! So, you are sleeping, you are well rested and you are not hanging on me all the time anymore. I also tried to calm down a bit, because it's just not right that I get so aggravated  for your sake, to defend you and then I harm you on the emotional side. I love you more than anything in this world and I have to stay strong for you! 12 more weeks and we are done!
Daddy was really hoping that On May 3 when we'll start week 1, Dr. A. will be there to come and tell us that they have to decrease the doze of 6MP again. It's just a matter of Daddy's ego, here :) after the big argument we had with her back in February (or January) about the dose being higher than what you can tolerate.
Anyway, I guess it's time for me to come outside and put you on the swing so Daddy can get rid of the weeds in the back yard. Now you are helping him and having loads of fun! 
Mommy and Daddy love you very much and so are Madrina and Padrino. Never forget it!

Monday, April 02, 2012

Liar, liar, pants on fire :(

This is part 2 of the post "When the truth comes out".  I lost my trust in the medical and admin staff at the clinic, after so many lies. So, this morning I called the dermatology department at McMaster to try and find out when the requisition was sent. I told the receptionist that it's been a few weeks and I was just wondering why is taking so long to get an appointment. The receptionist told me that they do not have any record of a requisition on your name, but she will transfer me to the booking Department. The lady at the booking said she did not have a requisition on your name for any appointments. They still didn't sent it!!! I am fuming! Twice so far, they lied to us about that appointment! Twice! Maybe Andrea was hoping that if she said they sent it 2 weeks ago, we wouldn't even bother to call and find out! She could have at least had the decency to send one on Thursday, after she lied to us for the second time. But, eh, why bother, right?! WRONG! I called Andrea, I told her that I am very disappointed about all this. She said she'll find out what happened and she'll call us at about 3PM. So, she should be calling in about an hour. So, part 3 in an hour or so... or tomorrow, whenever she calls.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

When the truth comes out!

Today, I'm in a kind of a bad mood, kind of disappointed again, by the medical staff at McMaster. As I was saying before, about 7 weeks ago, I asked the Dr. to send a requisition to the dermatology department. After the March 1st L.P. I asked Andrea to check and see if a requisition has been sent to the dermatology and the answer was yes, it was sent weeks ago. Today, I asked Andrea where the dermatology department is located in the Hospital, because I would like to go and talk to them personally, because I feel this is ridiculous, it's been 7 weeks since the requisition was sent and they didn't even call to tell us when we had an appointment. She said that actually, after I asked her again on March 2nd, she looked into it, didn't find a requisition and then she sent one 2 weeks ago! I can not believe that they (she) looked us in the eye, time after time and lied to us, telling us that it was sent 7 weeks ago! And now, that she knew we would go there and ask questions, the truth will come out, she decided to finally tell us that nobody even bothered! I asked her a few times who messed up this time and she kept dancing around the answer. I asked her to answer my question and just tell us if the Doctor didn't write the requisition or if the receptionist or the nurse didn't sent it! Well, apparently, it is not the nurse's job to send it, and she didn't find any trace of requisition, so she didn't know what happened. I asked Andrea why she told me 5 weeks ago that the requisition was sent? She said that that was what the receptionist told her. So, I guess by this that the Doctor did write the requisition, since the receptionist knew about it, but she didn't sent it to dermatology! I told Daddy weeks ago that if they did not sent it, they would never tell us. I guess I was right, they only told us when backed up in a corner!
Well, the Doctor that wrote the requisition is the same Doctor who wrote a prescription wrong! You are taking Septra  half a pill 3 times a week, to prevent pneumonia. The bottle Daddy just brought from work had a label on it that said to give it to you twice a day, 3 times a week. Daddy told the pharmacist they made a mistake, but when she took out the prescription, she showed Daddy that it was not her mistake, but the Doctor's. 
Why am I still surprised about all those mistakes? Maybe I am just still hoping that one day, eventually, somebody will actually do their job properly? 

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Hypo glycemia scare :(

On Friday, March 9, 2012 I woke you up in the morning and you cried and told me that you were tired of waking up in the middle of the night for corn starch, so I decided that if the glucose level was good at bed time, I will wake up at 3am, check it again and if it is still good, I will let you sleep through the night. We did that for the next 5 nights and everything was great, you woke up smiling, in a good mood, and I was so happy about it.
But then, on Wednesday morning my world came crushing down around me when in the morning your glucose level was 1.8! You were symptomatic, shaky hands, cold sweats. I gave you orange juice and some sugar, while waiting for the pancake. I checked the glucose level again in 10 minutes and it went down to 1.7! That's when I panicked, I called Daddy to tell him to meet us at McMaster and I called 911 and after that I did another check. It went up to 3.4. Oh, the relief! The first paramedic arrived in 10-15 very, very long minutes. When Doug, the paramedic walked in, I was so happy to see him I wanted to cry. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see anybody lately as I was to see this paramedic. I told him that the glucose level is going up and he asked me if I wanted him to give you a shot of glucose. I told him I don't think it's necessary, but to go ahead, if he thinks one is still needed for your safety. He didn't give you one and asked me if I still want to bring you to ER. I said I don't think so and he offered to stay with us for a while to make sure you are ok. Later, 2 other paramedics came and Doug was speaking with them in the living room. When he came in the kitchen, you asked him what are the paramedics' names. He introduced them, Josh and Bill.
I called Daddy, who was on his way and he came home to make sure his Princess is fine. And he remained home for the rest of the day, didn't go back to work.
There were very few times in my life when I felt truly scared and when I think about it, I realize every one of this times is related to your safety. There is nothing more scary in this world than when it comes to a parent's child's life and safety. 
So, since then (it's been a week), I do wake you up every night for the corn starch, regardless of how high your glucose level is. I rather you are tired than not safe. And, besides, there's only four months left of the treatment and then about 2 more until the glucose level stabilizes and we can sleep through the night. 
We love you very much, more than anything in the world and your safety comes first. No matter how tired we all are, we are not going to take another chance. 

Friday, March 02, 2012


Yesterday, March 1, 2012 we had a Lumbar Puncture and Dr. Portwine took a sample of Bone Marrow to check it and make sure there are no leukemia cells left. Because of hypo-glycemia, Mommy and Daddy stayed up until mid-night, when we woke you up for corn starch and then we all went to sleep. We woke you up at 6am, did a glucose level check, got dressed and went to the clinic. Last week we asked the nurses about the corn-starch and Zrinka said to give it to you still at 2am, as usual. We didn't take the chance, because we didn't want to get at the clinic at 7am and be told that they can't do the procedure until 10 or so, because of the 2am corn-starch. We also asked that if the glucose level was low, could we go early morning in the ward to have you accessed. She said they won't do that, so we decided that if it was low, we would've went to the ER to have you accessed and then we'd go upstairs. But the glucose level was 4.4, so we just went at the clinic. We were there first, at 7am. We measured and weighed you, you are 12.9 kilos and 93.2 cm. We gave Rena the numbers and a while later Judy came and asked if she could do another height check, because there is a difference of 2 cm since 3 weeks ago. Well, what do you know!? The measurement is correct. You did grow 2 cm in 3 weeks. That is really good, especially since Dr. Jassass said that your growth hormone is a bit low. You were the first to go in the procedure room. It is always so very scary for us when you are put to sleep. When you woke up you didn't want to eat, you just had a spoon full of soup and a couple of sips of water. Vicky came by and sat and talked to us for a bit. Then Lisa de-accessed you and then we came home. As soon as we got home you did eat 2 bowls of won-ton soup that Mommy made for you and then you had a 3 hours nap on the couch. At 7pm you started crying, telling me "Mommy, I'm so tired!", so we did our bed-time routine really quick and by 8:30 the tv was off, lights off and by 9 we were all sleeping! This morning, you woke up really well rested after a long time. Woke up at 8am and spent some time with Daddy, while Mommy went at driving lessons. 
I will stop now, because your dinner is ready, we're having chicken and potatoes in the oven, again, at your request! Your order is my command :) I'd make anything, as long as you eat! And you did ask me once, a few weeks ago "Mommy, how do you make this chicken soooo good?" :) And so would Daddy. Last night he made you hamburger helper again. :) I love you more than anything in the world! And Daddy loves you more than anything in the world.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Dealing with hypo-glycemia... and everything else.

On January 30, we spent the night at the Hospital to do the test for hypo-glycemia. As promised, Dr. Jassass came around 10 pm to check on you and to tell me what we will do. She sat and talked to us for quite a while, while you sat on the bed and ate jellies. Dr. Jassass told you that you can eat them that night, but after that it would be best if you only ate them during the day. At 2am I woke you up for the corn starch and Ashley, our nurse came in the room to do a glucose level check. I got your corn starch ready and you asked me if Ashley would give it to you. So, she sat beside you and gave you the corn starch. Michael came in the room to see you. You remember Michael?! 'Monkey-Michael' :) When you were first diagnosed, Michael used to pretend he's a monkey, make all the sounds, just to make you smile. While Michael was in the room, you asked me for ham, so I went to buy you a ham sandwich. You stayed with Michael, which was surprising, but even more surprising was the fact that apparently, you talked to him all the time that I was out of the room. You are so grown up! :) 
At 8am Dr. Jassass was back in your room, doing glucose level checks. It was still over 4. We did another check at 10am and another one at 12pm. At this point, it started going down. It was 3.6. Dr. Jassass took the blood at the lab to measure it so we know exactly what it was. I went outside for a coffee and on my way back, Dr. Jassass walked past me, very hurriedly and just told me the glucose level at the lab was 2.8! I walked in the ward just behind her and she was loudly calling Sarah, our day nurse and told her to come and take blood right away so then we can feed you and bring the glucose level up. Daddy told me that is really low, because you were very lethargic and very thirsty. Daddy was right. From the time they checked the first blood sample until the second one, it was 12 minutes! In 12 minutes it went from 2.8 to 2.2. We gave you some orange juice right away and some chicken soup and after that you were very tired, as always when your glucose level drops. While you were sleeping, Dr. Jassass came to talk to us, together with her professor, Dr. Vandermuler. They both said that all the results that they had so far were good, so they are sure that you are hypo-glycemic because of the 6MP. But the growth hormone is a bit low. Which could be either the cause or the effect of hypo-glycemia, they do not know. Dr. Jassass also said that the growth hormone fluctuates all the time, so we might just not have caught it at it's peak. But we'll check it again the next time you get accessed in clinic, next Thursday.

February 2, 2012:
We went to clinic for week one treatment and prescriptions. Even though Andrea was not the charge nurse, she came and said that the counts were too low for treatment. The platelets were under 100, which means they can not do treatment, as there is a risk of bleeding.
Dr. Breaky came in the room to talk to us and asked what our opinion was where the dose of 6MP is concerned. We told her that we think it has to be lowered from 12 pills per cycle to 10.5 pills per cycle or even 9. She agreed to go even with 9 pills per cycle.
On Feb. 9 we had the same conversation with Dr. Breaky and after that we went to do the bone density test. We had to come back upstairs to clinic for the treatment and while Andrea was doing your treatment, Dr. Athali and Paula, the pharmacist walked into the room. We had a long conversation with them. Dr. Athali kept saying that the increase of the dose was valid, while we argued the opposite. I asked her to never again send a resident into the room to assess you, because they don't have the knowledge or the experience necessary to take such decisions. She explained that McMaster is a University Hospital, but they do have to respect our wishes and she will not send a resident in the room again. A lot of things have been said in that room that day. The Doctor even implied at some point that we might not give you the prescribed dose at home. I did make it very clear that we do not play with your medication and if we are not comfortable with thing we will let them know, as we did so far, and we will take a decision together. She also said that the hypoglycemia is not caused by the 6MP and that it was only a coincidence that we went hypoglycemic when the dose of 6MP was increased. We told her that Dr. Jassass is the research endocrinologist and she told us that the 6MP is, in fact, the cause of your hypoglycemia. She still argued her point, telling us that Dr. Jassass is actually talking about an ALL medication and she, Dr. Athali knows more about it. While I do agree with that, I told her that the 6MP might be an ALL medication, but Dr. Jassass was not telling us what it does or doesn't do for ALL, but she was talking from an endocrinology point of view. It's so very frustrating sometimes, we just feel like Don Quijote, we talk, and talk and no matter what we say it feel like it just falls on deaf ears. Everybody listens, nobody hears! Anyway, bottom line is that the dose was decreased by 20%, as per protocol. Dr. Athali said that you are part of the research, so they have to follow protocol. I told her that I will take you off the research that instant and asked her if that would make a difference. The answer was no. I asked her why did she even bring up that fact and I got no answer. Daddy said that he thinks that they might have misunderstood our requests and they might think that we ask them to decrease the dose dramatically. Well, that is not the case. We do have your best interest in mind. We only demanded (yes, demanded) the dose to be decreased to where you can tolerate it. We do know the main goal of all this is to treat leukemia, but we can not damage everything else in the process.
Dr. Jassass ordered all the tests to be done, to check the level of 6MP left in your blood (2 weeks from the last dose; if the level is still too high, it means that you do not metabolise it and it would have to be decreased again, because you are too sensitive to it), to check the growth hormone again, to check alanine level to make sure everything is fine.
At the clinic on Feb. 16, Dr. Jassass came upstairs and said that all the results are fine, (except the alanine  which is a bit low; she said that hypoglycemic patients all have low alanine, but they don't know if that's a cause or an effect); she is just waiting for the growth hormone results, but the chart tells her that you grew 2 inches in the last 6 months, so she is very reassured that there is nothing wrong with that either. She should have the results by Tuesday and she'll call to let us know.
The glucose level seems better lately. We still wake up once a night for corn starch, but now in the morning is over 5, which is great! We used to take 4 measures of corn starch every night at bed time and that would last for 12 to 14 hours. Now we are taking 8-9 measures at bed time and 7-8 at 2am. We will start decreasing the 2am dose gradually. We'll go down to 6 measures for a week and then down to 4 and hopefully soon we can safely eliminate the midnight dose and you can sleep all night. You must be so tired, my love! You even went back to afternoon naps, which you hadn't since last summer. Oh, soon it will all be done and you can have a normal childhood. 5 months and 2 day from today the treatment will be over! I am  thinking about many things. I am considering the dex, we need to talk to the doctors about it. I will tell you all about that after we talk to them.
And on a happier note, I am already thinking about the 'huge tea party' that you want when treatment is done. Since is going to be a fancy-dress party, we will make it 'girls only!' :) So far, I am thinking: Vienna, Alex, Lauren and Rachel, Kingsley. We just have to go look for some really fancy tea cups and later on for a really fancy dress and hat. Oh, we love you very much and Mommy is really looking forward to our tea party. :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


This is my 3 and a half year-old's breakfast: Sushi and Caviar! :)
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Friday, January 20, 2012

There we go... again!

Oh, what a deja-vu feeling! This morning you woke me up at around 8am and I came in the kitchen, I got you a pancake, made my coffee and did your finger-poke. So far, so good, just our usual morning routine, until I read the glucometer! 1.6! I almost got a heart attack! I got you some orange juice right away and went and woke Daddy up. You had some juice, but your hand was so shaky, that you actually spilled half the juice on yourself. I called Dr. Jassass, this wonderful, dedicated endocrinologist who said that we have to bring you to ER and she'll come as soon as they have the blood results. You drank a lot of juice and then you threw up, again, which my guess is that is just the acidity of the orange juice on an empty stomach that always upsets your stomach. I told you that we have to go and then stay there until tomorrow with the nurses, and you seemed to be fine with it. But when I tried to dress you, you started crying and you wouldn't let me dress you. Eventually, you did let Daddy dress you, and we left for the ER. We were about 10 minutes away when Dr. Jassass called my cell, to say that she was in ER waiting for us. I told her we'll be there in 10 minutes. We got there, we went to a room immediately and they skipped protocol; we didn't see the Emergency Doctor, but Dr. Jassass was in there with us all the time. We did a glucose level check as soon as we got there and it was 16.7! So you went from hypoglycemia to hyperglycemia  in 2 hours! Dr. Jassass said that that's a good sign, it tells her that your hormones work just fine and your defense mechanism kicks-in to protect you. That is reassuring. She said that they don't have beds in 3B Ward, so we are right now on a waiting list. She's trying to get us checked in for two nights before we stop the 6MP of this cycle, because she is very sure this is related to 6MP. The first night, we are to do our usual routine and they would collect blood every four hours to see at which point during the night the glucose level drops and the second night, I can feed you at 2am and after that you will not get any food, but they will still collect blood to see how long you can go without food before the glucose level starts to drop. If we can't get a bed by Tuesday night, the latest, then we'll just have to wait until next cycle. Until then, I'll have to give you the corn starch at bed time and then I have to check your glucose level around mid-night or 1am and then to give you more corn starch or the alternative is an NG tube and an all-night feeding. I said, again, No to the tube up your nose. I rather wake up during the night and give you the corn starch than to see you with a tube up your precious little nose. So, I guess from now on until, who knows when, we'll just have to interrupt your sleep and take some corn starch. 
PS: The liver enzymes level went down yesterday to 80 and today Dr. Jassass checked it again, it was 67. So, that raises another question, which I didn't even think about until Madrina pointed it out: that Saturday 2 weeks ago Dr Athali said the enzymes could be so high because maybe the Methrotrexate is still filtering through your liver. That was 2 days after the treatment. But yesterday, only 1 day after treatment, the enzymes were down at 67! So, could it have been the virus causing this? Or is it something else? You have been struggling  with a cold for two weeks now, so I hope with all my heart that it was only the virus causing that high enzymes level.
Mommy and Daddy love you very much and we are very, very proud of you!

Snow day!

Thursday, January 19, 2012
6 months and treatment will be done!
Snow! Finally! You've been waiting since the beginning of the winter for some snow to make snow angels. And now it's finally here! We went at the clinic and we had the treatment done. The counts are low and it's only week 2. We still think it was way too early to have the dose of Mercaptopurine (6MP) and Methotrexate increased, but Dr. Athali said that for now she doesn't feel that she needs to decrease the dose. But being only week 2 and your neuts and monos together only 0.6, I wonder what will happen next week. The neuts and mono together have to be at least 0.5 to get your treatment, so I am very concerned that next week they will not be high enough for you to get the Methotrexate. I don't think that the increase of one pill of 6MP per cycle it's worth the skipping of a week of Methotrexate. Plus that all the CBC were low, hemoglobin at 104, neuts at 0.5, leukocytes at 1.6, platelets at 109. We'll see the CBC next week and if they keep dropping, then we'll have a talk with the Doctors and hopefully they will decrease the dose. Until this increase you were doing so well. You haven't been neutropenic since April of 2011, you haven't had a blood transfusion since around the same time. And now some... 'fellow', as Jojo called him comes in and pretends to know what he's doing and just ruins everything! Hmmm I'm not very happy right now with the way just anybody is allowed to take decisions there, without being an oncologist. When we were in ER 2 weeks ago, the enzymes level in your liver was very high, at 600, when normally is between 40-60. The following Thursday it was at 180 and this morning I asked the technician in the lab to check the enzymes level as well. She told me they were already ordered. But when Jojo came in to do the treatment I asked her about the results and she went to check. She came back and said that, believe it or not, they didn't do it!!! Sometimes, I just want to scream at everybody in there, so they wake up and to their job properly. Anyway, Jojo took blood and sent it to the lab for the tests. 
When we came home, we had lunch, a little rest and after that we bundled up and went outside. We started making snow angels on the front lawn and then we moved in the back yard and we filled it with snow angels. You were so happy! I am so happy when I see you happy! Your smile is worth more then all the gold in the world! Nothing makes me so happy, as it does your smiling face, your happiness, your laugh! I love you more then anything in this world!

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Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Every night before bed, we check the glucose level. Last night it was 6.2. I made you corn starch with yogurt, 4 measures, as every night (1 measure = 1/2 teaspoon) and we went to sleep, after you played your DSI for a bit, and then you said you wanted to go and sit with Daddy for a bit. You came back, climbed into bed and went to sleep with no fussing. At around 2am, you asked if we would get up. I told you it's the middle of the night and we have to go back to sleep, so you went back to sleep. You tossed and turned so much, until your head was close to my knees and your feet on the back of my head. It wasn't enough, so you started kicking me! I asked you to come up on the pillow. You came, but by 6 am, you were back :) At 6 again you asked if the sun was up and if we can get up. I said not yet, and you went back to sleep. At 7, you woke me up and asked for cold water. I brought you water and you were going back to sleep. But something was telling me, something was wrong. So, I came in the kitchen to get your breakfast, just as Daddy was leaving for work. I asked Daddy to do your finger poke and he did and after that he screamed to me to bring you orange juice.  Your glucose level was 1.9!!! How in the world did it get that low??? You took the same amount of corn starch last night, the room wasn't any warmer than usual that you'd sweat, you didn't have a fever... so, why??? Yet another mystery, yet another question unanswered. You had a lot of juice and a pancake with a lot of syrup. After that you got really tired, but I expected that, so we laid on the couch watching cartoons for about an hour an a half. We had something to eat around 11:30 and then Madrina came over to see you. You are always so very happy to see Madrina! Madrina left around 1pm and an hour later, you were asleep on the couch. About 2 hours later, after school, Belle came over to play and she woke you up when she knocked on the door. Because you were mostly asleep you said you didn't want to play with her. So, I told her we'll call her later. You tried to go back to sleep on the couch, but couldn't, so we went in the kitchen and you had a snack. After your snack you were ready to play! 
We'll go to clinic tomorrow. 6 months from tomorrow and treatment will be done! Well, officially, on July 17, but because we go to clinic on Thursdays, it will be July 19. What a happy day that will be! And after that you want a 'huge tea party". :) Oh, we are so looking forward to that! You want to go on a cruise after the treatment and you want to swim with the dolphins. We are thinking about the cruise somewhere in August. But we have to ask the Doctors if by then it will be safe, only a month after the end of the treatment. So, tomorrow when we go at the clinic, we'll ask Andrea to call a dermatologist to come and look at your hands. The skin is all irritated, all red and crusted, and very itchy. We kept showing it to the Doctors and they keep saying it's ok. Well, I don't think it is. We'll see what the dermatologist will say about it tomorrow. 

Monday, January 16, 2012

Moody Princess :)

Posted by PicasaYou are a moody li'l girl :) Last week on Tuesday, Madrina came over with Vienna and one minute you were taking care of Vienna, the next minute, you were taking the toys off her. On Wednesday morning, the mystery was solved, when you asked me if Madrina will not bring Vienna next time, because when she does, Madrina doesn't play with you. I told Daddy that you wouldn't give Vienna a hug and kiss when she left and Daddy said that maybe when Vienna went home, she was upset about it and asked Madrina why you wouldn't hug and kiss her. You reply was that Vienna can't speak yet, so you are not worried about it! Mommy explained to you that just because she doesn't speak, doesn't mean that she can't feel bad about it. Well, yesterday Madrina and Padrino came over for dinner and they brought Vienna with them. The two of you played a little before dinner. At dinner time, you let Vienna sit on your high chair, because you are a big girl now, so you sat on one of the chairs at the table. After dinner, you and Vienna had soooooo much fun together! You were chasing each other from the front door to the back door, laughing the two of you. Before they left, Madrina asked for a pair of socks for Vienna and as I got up to get them, you said you'd bring them! You are so nice and generous with your friend. It's so nice to see that you are willing to give and share without me even asking you. You even shared your yogurt with corn starch with Vienna :) You still take that to keep your glucose level elevated, and Vienna loved it! She was standing there while you took it, and I can;t not give her any. So I gave her twice and then I just put in the same kind of glass yogurt only. She seemed to like it better with the corn starch in it! It is thicker. After they left, we went to bed and you fell asleep pretty quick. I guess you were tired. You woke up about two hours later crying, you had a bad dream. I picked you up and while I was standing up, rocking you, you fell asleep. I laid down, with you on top of me, and you moved a bit and fell off of me! You woke up and cried  again, and I asked you if you wanted to come and lay on me again, and you told me that you can't get up on me. I helped you back up and you went to sleep right away. You keep saying that you are ready to sleep on your own! Well, I am not! :) And I don't think you are, either, because every time you wake up even a little bit during the night, you look for me in bed, you call me and you still play with my nails until you fall asleep. While it's nice to see you become a bit more independent, it's even nicer for my 'mother-soul' to see you still need me. :)
              Today, as every day when we were talking with Madrina, you asked about Vienna. I think you really enjoyed playing with her, you two had a lot of fun last night. Now you are playing with Belle, she's the one you always play with. You are used to playing with her and even though some days you two don't really get along, usually you play nicely. That gives Mommy an opportunity to keep this blog up to date.
               It's so wonderful to hear you laugh and play! The most beautiful sound in the world, to my ears, is definitely your laugh! My heart is so happy when you are happy!

Saturday, January 14, 2012


                  Word has it :) that come September you'll start Kindergarten. The big question here is: "How is Mommy going to deal with it?" I know, it sound silly, childish, insane, but I can't see myself being away from you all those hours a day. I am addicted to you, I don't think I could bear the silence of this house with you in JK. The specialists say that this is how we prepare you for the world, how we, as parents, teach our children independence, how we allow you to deal with things without our interference and without our help. All things that I agree with, but, unfortunately, mothers don't come with an 'off' button and the maternal instinct to protect our children follows us through life, from the instant that the child is born. I haven't found yet any psychological 'tips' that would help me go through your first day at school. What am I going to do? How will I deal with it? Am I suppose to wait in the hall-way to still be physically in your proximity or do I have to do it band-aid way, and just come home? I think that this is the problem, I don't trust that a stranger will be able to understand and protect you, the way I would. I am terrified at the thought that I could drop you off at school and you'll be crying until is time to come home. I am terrified at the thought that you might, even for a minute, feel abandoned. 
                  They introduced now the 'full-day' of kindergarten. There is no way that I would take you to a full-day JK! We will have to find a JK that is half-day. Finding a JK is another problem. Since the day you were born, I always said I want you going to a Catholic Kindergarten. The 'pro' is because they have a better discipline. The 'con' would be the concept of God as the Creator of everything. I want you to know about God, but in the same way I want you to know about science. I don't want you to be indoctrinated in a Catholic School that God created the Universe and that's that! I want you to know both sides, religion and science and once you have all the pieces of the puzzle, I want you to make an educated decision, I want you to choose what's right for your life, based on what you know, not on what the teachers in a Catholic School told you you HAVE to believe in. I think that the more I think about it, the more and more I am against Catholic School, but I am not really happy about public School, either. The problem is that the Schools already register for September 2012, so we need to register you already. But, where? I think we will just go visit some schools and see what their policy is about me staying in the class until you get comfortable there, we'll have to see which one you like, we'll have to see which one is stricter against bullying. 

Friday, January 13, 2012

Fun and scary

First week of January 2012, Daddy took a week off and we went to Niagara. We stayed at the Sheraton and we went at the Fallsview Waterpark. For the first time, I heard you shriek with pleasure and excitement when we got in the pool. You just love the water and the slides! I think we spent a whole hour on the small slide. Then we moved to a bigger slide, and every time you went on it, you said: "Once more, Mommy.' :) 

I told you to go on it as many times as you want, after all, we went there for you to have fun, so do anything you'd like.

At dinner-time, we went on the 13th floor of the Sheraton at the Fallsview Restaurant and we had a very nice dinner and a spectacular view of the falls.
Next day we woke up and you wanted to go at the pool as soon as you had your breakfast. You did wait until about 10, until the pool opened! We spent about 2 hours at the pool, but the one wave pool they had there, wasn't opened yet, so we spent the 2 hours on the slides. Oh, you had so much fun!
The rest of the week we didn't do much, is very cold outside. Just went to clinic on Thursday, and the counts were really low. Neuts were 0.2. It's been a long time since you've been neutropenic, since April 2011, actually. On week one, some sort of a Doctor came in the room to check you and he said that since the counts are good, he will increase the dose of your medication. I asked him and then I told him that I think is too early, because the dose had just been increased the previous cycle. But he increased it anyway. Now you're neutropenic! I'll have to have another talk to everyone at the clinic and I will make it really clear that if they are not qualified doctors, I don't want them in the room to talk to us and much less to make decisions.
On Friday night you did feel a bit warm, but didn't have a fever. At 6am Saturday morning you still didn't have a fever, but at 8am when I checked, your temperature went up to 38.4. I called the Dr. on -call, it was Dr. Portwine and she said that because you were neutropenic we have to go at the Emergency Room to have you checked up. By the time we left the house you had no fever or when we got there. We went in triage and gave the 2 nurses all the information they needed, also saying that you are hypoglycemic. We went to a room very soon and a Resident Doctor came in to talk to us. After we told him what was happening, he asked us what should we do while we wait to see if we go upstairs to the Ward. I told him to take some blood from the port and some from a peripheral vein and send it to the lab and then to phone the results in the ward to Dr. Athaly and she will decide if we were going upstairs or coming home. Leslie, the vein specialist came and accessed your port and got blood from the port, but couldn't get any blood from the peripheral vein. But you were so very good, never moved, never even seemed to be bothered that she was poking you. She then set the IV pump at 20ml/hour and said to Margo (the Child Life Specialists in the ER) that she doesn't remember what Rose, the nurse told her to set it at, but Rose will come in and reset it. 
One nurse came in later and said that all the results were fine, and we can go home. A few minutes later, another nurse came in and said that one of the results were not quite good, because it shows traces of heparin and we should do the test again. They took more blood, and sent the blood to the lab. While waiting you fell asleep laying on me on the bed. The nurse, Matthew came and said that they got the results back and everything is fine, so we can come home. He also asked if he has to put heparin in the port when he will de-access the port.  Ummm... YES! Anyway, he called Leslie in with him and took your arm out of the sweater, and you didn't wake up. I told Daddy right away that you are not OK. Then the nurse took the big sticker off and you still were sleeping. Daddy took your glucose-level and yes, it was down. 2.6. Daddy found a nurse right away and asked for orange juice. You drank 2 small containers and when I sat up with you, you threw up. Probably too much juice too fast. Daddy demanded that the PACE team was called in and the nurse kept saying that she is not allowed to call them and she went and called the ER Doctor. By the time the Doctor came in the room, maybe a couple of minutes later, you began to look better, were a lot more responsive. This was the first time I saw Daddy freak out on anybody! He is the nice one in the family, but I think even Daddy got to the point where he is fed up with them and the fact that we always have to watch them or they will make mistakes!
On Monday morning I e-mailed Dona, the nurse's supervisor in ER and I asked if she would be able to come in 3F Clinic on Thu, because Daddy wanted to talk to her. 
She came upstairs on Thu and we had a long talk to her. We told her all of our concerns, I told her that I have yet to find a Doctor in the ER to impress me. But they are making improvements and slowly hopefully thing are going to get a lot better. We all agreed that the Saturday experience could have had unfortunate consequences and if it didn't it was Daddy's merit for thinking about the glucose level, and not the merit of her nurses. 
Thursday afternoon, around 5 you felt really warm and when I checked your temperature it was 38.6C. I called the Dr. on-call, they paged him twice in 10 minutes and there was no answer. I checked your temperature again, it was 39C already, within 10 minutes. I guess I caught it when it was peeking. I called paging again, they again paged the Dr. and after 10 minutes, the lady at the paging told me that she called his house, cell phone and pager and there is no answer. I even called 3B Ward, but of course there was no Doctor there anymore. I called Daddy and we decided to give you Tylenol ad if the fever doesn't go down, he'd come home from work and we'll go to the ER again. Within half an hour the fever started going down, about 0.1C every 5 minutes. It kept going down until about 11 pm when it was 37.7C again, so Mommy woke you up for some Tylenol and you wouldn't take it from me. Daddy gave it to you and then you were really upset, Daddy walked around the house with you for a few minutes, until you calmed down and then you went to sleep with Mommy. Now you are fine, you're playing with Belle, as I'm writing this. Madrina called today to check, because I texted her last night to tell her about your fever and she was concerned. 
Let's hope the last 6 months of the treatment are going to be smooth, without any of this big scares. We love you very much and we are very, very proud of you. XOXO
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Monday, January 02, 2012

Beautiful princess hair.

First time with pony tails :) You looked so happy when you saw yourself in the mirror! You are beautiful!
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